1075 - Compared

yesterday, i was being compared to. why?! why compare?!

The saying goes,
人比人，气死人。

then why compare! it's so heart breaking...

Weight

I've lost weight. Over the past 3 weeks i've lost about 3kg. Shrunk in muscle mass due to no climbing? Perhaps a bit. Dieting? Neh. Poor appetite? Yes. But there is a real reason behind it. How long is this phase gonna last? Shall i just sit and wait or to end it prematurely?

- This blog was updated through my M1 mobile phone.

Lost And Found

4 of us, used to hang out together almost everyday during the final 3yrs of our sec sch days. After O levels, i went on to pursue a dip, while the other 3 stepped into to society. Slowly after a few yrs, we lost touch. 1 of them, i completely had no sound n sight of them.

Until recently LP, the only one who i still have her contact bumped into the disappeared one, WL. And so, 4 of us are "reunited" thru face-book.

A meet up was suggested and at long last, 4 of us finally saw each other yesterday! It's been about 10yrs since last met all 3 of them. Had updates of YL every now n then from LP, but the 4th one, WL just seemed to have vanished. Even i still m in contact with LP, we never met.



I was really pretty excited to meet them yesterday. I was earliest, n met YL 1st. She dragged her 2 sons along. Then LP came, bringing her elder daughther along. Then arrived WL, who's like me, still single. We all started chatting and catching up on each other's life. I was very glad tat even after a decade, we didn seem to have drifted much. No awkwardness at all. And we just shared everything. Updates on ourselves as well as our family whom we all knw abt in the past.

WL n LP are doing good, but not with their family though. YL is the one struggling. Having divorced with 2 boys to take care of, as well as her aged parents. Life's pretty tough on her.

 It seems like the singles are coping better than the marrried. And the married kept telling the singles not to marry and not to have kids, quoting their own siblings as very good negative examples. Hur. 



Anyway, it was great being able to meet up with the 3 of them again, after so many yrs. Too bad, we didn take any pics. Will be seeing them again soon, i suppose. YL even proposed a short retreat together in the near future! I hope it does happen!

- This blog was updated through my M1 mobile phone.

1072 - Really No Volunteer?

this morning, i've been asked not to go for any more such no-gain-volunteer-work anymore.

but why? why am i being asked to give up something that is so spiritually uplifting, something that i enjoy doing?

I can't do something that makes me feel good?

1071 - No Volunteer

a couple of days ago i went to help my friend in this volunteer screening. it was only for an hour, cos it was kinda last min when he needed my help and i have committed my time elsewhere.

it's been quite a while since i did any screenings and screening in hometown, it's been even much much longer. a decade? haha.

anyway, i have forgotten how it felt doing screenings like such. but tat short 1 hour made the feelings return. it actually felt good! ya. i know it felt good. it was written in my previous entries. but it's just that i have long forgotten about the feel.

that 1 hr makes me really want to go to the large scale volunteer trip to the rural parts of thailnd in march next yr. but i had already turned down the offer. haiz. due to a few circumstances, i had to give up going.

let's just hope that organiser friend doesn't "retire" after this trip. cos he has been talking about retiring since last yr. "this will be the last trip i organise", blah blah.

1070 - My Finger

my middle finger has more or less fully recovered, with the skin there healed completely without any scars or hardened skin (as yet). the shape looks a little better now, but it's still slanted.

wonder if it will eventually round up by itself? i hope.

1069 - Hand Vs Window II

the idiot who vied the fist against the window? it's already been almost a mth since that kuku did the stupid act, but the fist is still in some pain and the numbness is still there.

i believe he must have wrecked some nerve or tiny bone.

do i pity or laugh at him. hmm...

1068 - Depressed

have been feeling pretty down lately. since like, the start of the year? geez. wat a way to start the year. ET is giving me some stress, but not to the extent of making me depressed.

last night was worst. up to date. i wonder if there will be any "worser" situation, but now is already bad.

haiz... when will this wave of depression end? not so soon i know. but just hope it doesn't get any worse.

i have anticipated such situation to arise, but it's to my surprise that i actually feel depressed.

sigh...

6/6

today is my 1st day of work at this new workplace, which has a requirement, that is, no glasses is allowed. and not liking contact lenses, i decided to just make do without my glasses. since my unaided vision isn't too bad. i could drive comfortably without my specs after going thru that trial some time last yr, so i reckon i shdn't have any problems at work too.

but oh man. today makes me really appreciate the wonders of having 6/6 or better vision. me, without my glasses was having so much problems at work! now i truly realise, my job requires good vision! i can't see the words on the machines properly, unable to see the distant chart properly to know if the Px read the right or wrong alphabets to me, and unable to see my trial lens degree properly. everything near or far, were so small and blur!

so i guess.... the next time i work there, i'll have to put on the ever irritating contact lenses!

and so. i can't imaging going thru L@SiK and having the risk of not being able to retain the pervious very good visual acuity with corrective lenses.

1066 - Too Much, Too Little

ok, i think i'm working too much lately. though i lost an anchor also around this period of time, but i still think i'm slogging too much.

i've decided. i'll take lesser jobs next month. not sure if there's any potential good jobs i may lose out in, in future, if i dun commit myself to them next month, but i really need a break....

i'm just so so so so sooooo tired. drained.

i miss my bed. i'm not clocking enough hours with it.

signs of aging? :S
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i haven't been exercising at all lately too. climbing has already been ceased since like months ago, and now, even the occasional once a week or once every two weeks running has been ceased. i'm losing my muscle tone and putting on fats. in no time, i won't be able to do any more pull ups! urgh! will i be able to start climbing again next year? try once a week? but once a week is gonna be demoralising and painful with each session and no progress. hmm....